Rewiring for Positivity…

Our journey ahead is, or can be, FULL of amazing people and adventures.  AMAZING!  For some, it starts that way, it’s that way through the middle and can be that way at the end.  Many, though, they never see it that way.  They see their entire journey as a struggle; a burden.  No doubt, at times, it can be.  Still, some people thrive on chaos…drama…trouble.  They create it, take no responsibility for it and try to foist it off on others.  Truly, too, some of us have been dealt some nasty cards.  There is no denying that.  I’ve seen it.  It’s sad to it’s core.  My dad used to say, “No matter what happens in your life, there is always someone who has it worse than you,” and, for the majority of us, he’s right.

Even for those of us who don’t have it that bad, we can find ourselves caught in a downward spiral.  Maybe it was through no fault of our own, or maybe it was a series of choices we made.  Our choices can center around jobs, money, friends, significant others, strangers, where we live, how we entertain ourselves, politics, religion, well being…any number of things.  These choices can give way to thoughts of unhappiness, and pretty soon, we find ourselves drowning in disturbing thoughts about our life choices.

There are outside forces that we must reckon with.  Advertising agencies make good money making us imagine we can’t possibly be happy with the choice we’ve made.  We NEED a new car, house, appliance, clothes, shoes, furniture, next new book, game, game console, whatever.  They shape our thoughts in ways we don’t even realize…we aren’t religious enough, we aren’t attractive enough, we are too tall, too short, too fat, too thin, too dark complected, too pale, our hair is too curly, too straight, too light, too dark…it goes on and on.

Then, there’s religion, the news media and the government…yes, even they help shape our choices and thoughts.  The religion we choose shapes our views on other religions, death, life (ours and others), life issues, our place in society, who’s going to Hell (EVEN though Our Creator told us NOT to judge!!!). Depending on who’s in office and which party is in control of Congress, our media and government try to control how we think about gay rights, gun issues, reproductive issues, personal rights, personal responsibilities, what we eat, war, religion, freedom as a whole, government and religion…All of this, in turn, helps shape a set of societal norms that squelch individuality in both thought and creativity.

The truth is, with all the information coming at us from every angle, we’ve become lazy about thinking for ourselves.  Even our friends help shape our thought process, and thus our choices…We are bombarded from every angle.  So…what can we do?  Is there, or can there be, any way out?  Is there a way to reshape our thoughts so that we can fix our present, overcome our past and have a better future?  Maybe their is.  Maybe we can relearn to think for ourselves.

We need to learn to do is question everything.  Even those with good intentions can make us rethink our choices.  Weigh everything you are told.  Especially if it’s from ads, the media or the government…and maybe even a few friends…research out important information.  Once you’ve done that, you might just find loads of other info about the very subject…then, compare what you’ve found with what you already thought you knew.  You might come to different conclusions!

Realize that if something is too good to be true, it usually is.  Likewise, if something seems too bad to be true…it usually is.

Understand that just because something is right for someone else, it might not be right for you.  The world is not black and white…there are MANY shades of grey…as well as other colors…use them wisely.

Follow your gut, for truly, your gut is usually right.  If it seems wrong, it probably is…whether it’s an opinion about yourself or someone else.

Get plenty of rest…when you are tired, your judgment is cloudy…

Likewise, eat healthy food…

Be patient…yes…be patient…

Look back on the bad things, and the good, and appreciate the fact that you lived through it all…you are still here…

Our Creative Forces had a genuinely good reason for compelling us not to judge.  Know that you only walk in your shoes…no one else’s.  Do not judge other people based on what you feel, think or experience.  You have no idea what they’ve been through or how they got where they are…Hind sight is 20/20…until you are in the moment, you truly do not know how you would react, so do not judge…

If your situation sucks, seize the moment and change it…and then grasp the knowledge that if it still sucks, you can change it again…and again and again and again…until you are in the best place possible for you…

Be thankful for what you do have…there are MANY who don’t have even a portion of what you do…

Here is the most important part…Learn to love EVERYONE…including yourself…

Believe it or not, you now have the tools rewire the way you think.  If negativity pops into your head, stop, realize it for what it is, turn it around and rethink it…It can be about yourself, another person, a particular choice, decision, situation, anything…whatever it is, turn it around into something positive.  Remember, whatever is going on, whatever your situation, whatever you are thinking, most all of it can be changed!

Becoming more positive makes us feel better…lifts us up…makes life more enjoyable.  The more you rethink things in positive ways, the more amazing things become.  Pretty soon, you can rethink things without even knowing you’re doing it…and, voila!  You have rewired for Positivity!  Congratulations!

 

 

 

 

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As Life Goes

There have been several life-changing events over the passed few months.  Maybe I should start with the bad news first…my estranged husband passed away two months ago.  While we were still married, we had lived mostly separate lives for several years.  He became very ill in 2010, and basically lost his business in 2012, so he moved into the basement apartment in the house I rent with our younger daughter.  As his illness progressed, I tried to help him.  He was, after all, the father of my children…children whom I love more than life, itself.  But, he has now passed away.  It’s a weird feeling to lose someone with whom you were so close, and yet estranged, at the same time.  Strange emotions come into play.

Much more recently, and quite a bit more joyous, our older daughter married her best friend.  It was a simple, yet elegant, wedding. The only real tragedy here being that her father wasn’t there to give her away.   Before her father died, my daughter realized he was so ill he may not be able to walk her down the aisle, so she, quite diplomatically, asked her soon-to-be father-in-law to walk her down the aisle. You see, he lost his daughter a couple of years ago, and would not have this opportunity.  In a very touching move, he asked her if he might give her a kiss on the cheek as he left her to wed his son.  It was a beautiful day.

Somewhere in the middle of all this, I managed to nearly lose my soul mate (a subject best left for another time…). It’s been a busy two months…

Through all of this, though, one thing has remained constant.  Life goes on.  It doesn’t pause and it doesn’t retreat…it moves forward.

There are two lessons to be learned from all this.

One; we CAN live through our saddest times.  We can survive them.  It seems tough, at first…in fact, nearly devastating, but we can make it through, as long as we have the courage to take action and faith in ourselves…

Two; since life does go on, we can either move forward with it, or wallow in self pity and make living our lives that much more difficult. But why do that?  Life can be hard enough without us interfering and making it harder for ourselves.

It was never promised that life would be easy…just that we could get through it.  We have to be proactive and choose in which fashion we want our lives to go.  While we have to face our tragedies, if we hold on to the glorious days, hours, even minutes, we will find it easier to stay positive and survive as life goes on.

Regrets…

Most of us live with regrets.  Sometimes they weigh on us like an anchor. We find ourselves dwelling on them, some of them constantly.  A few of our regrets can  be more devastating than others.  Maybe it was the way we treated another or a missed job opportunity.  It could have been a big cross country move.  Or, maybe it was the chance to tell someone just how much we love them…for the first time, or, even more regrettably, the last.  Yes…regrets come all too often, and they can be extremely hard on our body, heart and soul.

But…what if we could, from this day forward, live our lives so we have no more regrets at all?  Could we be strong enough do what it takes?

One thing we could do is think before we speak.  Yes, I know, it’s harder than it seems.  We find ourselves in the heat of the moment and before we know it, we have said something we regret.  Part of a more complex saying comes to mind; something you can never get back once it’s uttered are your words.  And, remembering that words can be as painful as actual, physical pain, this should be a no-brainer.

Another thing we could do is to not act so rashly.  Give our words and actions a little thought.  Consider that what we do doesn’t just affect us.  It affects those around us.

Still, on the other side of that, we should stop over-thinking things.  We all tend to do it, and by the time we’ve thought it out, our opportunity has passed us by.

One more thing we can do is be fully present in the moment, so that when something comes up, we’re more prepared.  We can make a good decision about it because we are aware.

Still there is a better answer.  Something so basic, it should be second nature to all of us.  Act with love, concern, kindness and compassion every moment of every day.  If we can do that, we should never have to harbor another regret as long as we live.

 

First Step

Lately, I find myself thinking about Lao Tzu’s timely saying, “The Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” That’s actually very good advice. We can’t get anywhere if we aren’t willing to take the first step.

Many people settle for the status quo because they may be frightened to take that first step for fear of the new and unknown. The “unknown” can be unnerving, even petrifying. The “new” can be terrifying, as well. After all, there is something comforting about knowing what to expect. But, does the comfort hold any excitement? Maybe we are too settled to desire any excitement!

Too, though, if we stay in our comfort zone, we are just walking in circles, going nowhere. Again, many are satisfied with that. But, for those who seek something new, taking that first step away from our comfort zone is crucial. Will it be easy? That reminds me of something else…something worth it is seldom easy.

Here’s something else to think about…If we opt for easy, we may never get anywhere new. We may never have new adventures, new loves, new experiences. So…step out there…make your move…there are numerous adventures just for you…You’ve just got to take that first step!

Compassionate Understanding

Sometimes the enormity of this world and our life’s journey can be lost on us.  Many times I pass people on the street, at the store, in a parking lot, or where ever I may be and often wonder what they are thinking.  Some of these people have smiles on their faces, some have scowls, and some are expressionless.  And, even so, it is still hard to know what they could be thinking.  Did they have a good day?  A great day?  A terrible day?  The worst?  Are they feeling love, joy, happy, sad, desperate, desolate or hopeless?  AND, how did I react to them, if we crossed paths?

When dealing with these people, we sometimes get frustrated because they are nasty to us.  But do we ever stop to think that they may be going through something pretty darned heavy?  When we were younger, we didn’t even think about their world…just ours.  We’d get angry that someone treated us disrespectfully, and we took it personally.  We tend to stay stuck in our own little world and forget there is a vastness FAR beyond our space and our journey.  When we get a little older, and have gone through a bit more of our own “stuff,” we still tend to be a bit frustrated, but we are less likely to take it personally.  And, we are starting to realize just how big the world is and how many people there are going through their own “stuff.”  We find we can identify with them a little bit.

A friend of mine lost her twenty-something daughter yesterday to tragic circumstances.  She is feeling despair, pain and anguish.  After I heard the news, I moved through my day and realized everyone I encountered had something going on in his or her life, good or bad.  It dawned on me yesterday that you have no idea about the circumstances of the people you pass on your journey.  How many of these people have an ill loved one?  Just lost a loved one?  Are out of money, about to get kicked out of their homes, or are just lost, and looking for answers?  Better still, how many of these people realize they are not alone?  How many of these people understand there are others going through something similar?  And even more eye opening, how many of these people realize they don’t have to go through it alone?

I implore you not to judge people by how they act toward you.  Yes, I do know how hard that is to do…but, offer them a smile anyway…tell them to have a good day, anyway.  You never know what a simple smile and a few positive words can do.  And, above all, just say a little pray for them…offer up some of your good energy…they don’t even have to know about it.  In fact, doesn’t the Bible tell us not to judge and not to make a spectacle of what we do?  How hard is it to just give someone a friendly smile and say some encouraging words in private for someone who may be suffering?  In that instant, what better do you have to do, anyway?  We are all linked and the positive thing you do for someone else will revisit you.  In being encouraging to someone else, you are, in fact, encouraging yourself!  Think about it!

New Years Introspection

I have often wondered why so many people love the ritual of making a New Years Resolution when they seldom, if ever, keep them.  Don’t worry, as I could never keep them, either, and stopped making them a long time ago.  This year, however, the idea of doing a sort of introspection instead of resolution popped into my mind.  Simply put, find out what does and doesn’t suit me, what I like or don’t, what I need to “make over” and what I don’t, and maybe this will help me make some changes.

Taking an inventory of what you do and don’t care for takes all sorts of honesty.  Why?  Because, in all honesty, we have become so settled in our way of thinking, we don’t pay attention to how we truly feel!   We are so comfortable with “the way things are,” we’d rather just continue down this path of fake tranquility, hoping that, at some point or the “right time,” things will change.

The truth of the matter is that we need to be proactive in our own lives.  If something doesn’t suit us, we need to do it differently.  If we don’t like something, we need to put the effort forth to change it.  If something needs to be made new, we need to be willing to make it over.  And yet, we aren’t…oh, and don’t worry, I am talking as much to myself as I am to anyone reading this.

There is much to like about “comfort” and much to fear about the unknown.   At least with comfort, we know what we are getting…even if it doesn’t make us happy.   With the unknown, we have no clue what might happen.  Could be good, or it could turn out bad…but if the comfortable is already unsatisfying, why wouldn’t we venture out into the unknown?  That new territory could hold such potential!  It could bring us everything we have ever desired…and maybe more…but only if we are willing to cross into the unfamiliar.

So, this year, instead of making a list of resolutions that have little chance of getting crossed off that list, why not do some personal exploration?  Observe what is going on within your own life and make an accounting of things that make you happy and things that don’t.  And, don’t rush the process…take your time.  Truthfully evaluate each thing you find.  Can you do something about it?  Can you change it?   Maybe there are other questions to consider…If we could really approach things candidly, what would we find out about what makes us happy and what doesn’t?  If we took the time to learn, would we possess the courage to pursue our happiness?  If the going got hard, would we be willing to stick it out?  If that proved to be intolerable, as well, would we be willing to make another venture forth into the unknown?  After all, that really IS all what matters.  Our own willingness to change our own lives…our willingness to go after what makes us truly happy…think about it!

Experience the Good

In reading my book this morning I ran across something that, while my Inner Being obviously  knows this, my “human” being has not quite grasped it, but it is simple and beautiful…

“The world starves in the midst of plenty, weeps in the midst of joy.  Yet the Eternal Manna has never ceased to fall.  The fields of God are ripe unto harvest.  The garden of your mind was planted by a Wisdom superior to yours.  Enter in and possess the Promised Land.  When you accept in simple faith, you shall receive.  When you knock in child-like belief, the door will be opened.  What you seek with enthusiastic acceptance, you will find.”  This passage comes from the book “This Thing Called You” by Ernest Holmes.

Go through your day’s journey with the knowledge that you are in control.  Negate negative thoughts and accept the truth…You are the children of a MOST Divine Creator, and in that, you possess that inheritance…the same inheritance that Jesus/Yahushua spoke so often about.  Remember always he told you that you could do all things, if only you believe…You can do what he did, and more, if only you believe…

I think these days we are bogged down with someone else’s experience…someone else’s reality…and we forget we have our own.  Don’t let someone else’s “stuff” cloud, or crowd, your own stuff.  Try to approach every thing as if it is, not just yours, but THE very first experience with it.  You might be surprised at the outcome!

May you experience all the richness of Spirit today, as you move through your day’s journey…love, peace, joy…with the realization that you are not alone!

Changing Your Perception

In the Bible we are told not to ramble on when praying.  We are to say our piece and get on with our lives.  Short, precise words are the ticket.  The more confusing the prayer, the more chance that it can be confused!  That’s not to say Our Creator would confuse that, but if you, like many others, believe your power is in your thought, then confused thoughts breed confusion of action!  One of my favorite spiritual teachers and authors, Ernest Holmes, taught that thoughts are things, and when put out there are acted upon.  To change your situation, you need to change the way you THINK about it.

Some of us wonder why we are in the positions in which we find ourselves.  “What did I do to end up like this?  God must really hate me for this to have happened to me.”  Sometimes it is over the death of a loved one.  Sometimes it is a financial situation.  Sometimes it is a relationship.  Sometimes it’s a loathed job.   Why do we automatically assume God had anything to do with that?

There are a couple of things we must understand.

First, you only control you…You cannot control the thoughts, decisions and deeds of another.

Second, Our Divine gave all of us free will.  We each have the ability to act and react.  And, again, we have the responsibility for ourselves.

Thirdly, we either take control of our lives or we don’t.

At any time we feel ready, we can start a journey of discovery to find out how we came to be where we are in our lives.  If we find ourselves in a particularly rough spot, we need to ask ourselves some particularly hard questions.  But we MUST be honest to get useful answers.

What decisions did I make in my life to bring me to this particular place?

Is this place in which I find myself beneficial in any way?  Are their lessons needing to be learned?

Can I make a new decision right now to change the course of my life?  Will I follow through on that decision, once it’s made?

Am I willing to make a new determination, at any time, if the previous one proves to take me in a wrong direction?

Again, remember, you are only responsible for you.

Many times, before a long journey by car, I visualize the entire journey to my destination, the drive, the potential stops, and the arrival, usually the day before I am to leave.  That visualization is comforting, as I see exactly what I want it to be.  We can do the same in our lives.

Maybe you are unsure what you want to lie ahead of you in your earthly journey, but you can visualize calmness in your decisions and spirit.  You can realize that whatever comes up for you is an opportunity, either to grow or to change a thought or decision for a better growth.  Throwing your hands up in the air in despair should never be an option.  Why?  Because THAT is the condition you are putting on your day…despair.  That is the thought that goes forth from you and becomes something.

Many people meditate and others pray.  Others believe in energy and others believe in other things.  There is no wrong way to go about your desire to see results, except one, hurting another expression of Our Divine.

The key to getting where you want to go is to simply start…Many teach to pray without ceasing, and like I have said before, the more you think positive thoughts, the more you will find your mind just goes with it.  It becomes automatic in your subconscious.

As an expression of Our Creator, you are a blessing to humankind that carries a piece of Our Creator inside your very being…Do you understand how awesome you are?  Better yet, do you understand the power you possess?  Go into the world every single day knowing you have the power to change your life…Live your expression to the fullest.  If you find yourself on a path that is distasteful, unproductive or brings loathing, change your perception?  You CAN make that change.

May the many blessings you seek be a catalyst for your upward growth and may you relax into these blessings and allow them to fill up your life and heart.  May you always carry the love of our Blessed Creator with you and wear it proudly…May your love of Our Creator shine forth so brightly that those around you have no choice but to take notice…With Divine Love in our hearts, we truly are the ones we’ve been waiting for…Much love and light to you…

Reflection…

Life sometimes finds us at a crossroads,
no clear way forward or back.
Yearning for some new adventure,
seeking anything new.

Moving in a strange direction,
unsure what lies ahead,
we can find ourselves reflecting.
on “better times” we’ve had.

Fear of future happenings
can catch us unprepared.
Looking for something familiar,
stable, well comfortable anyway!

Thoughts of our precious babies,
bring on nostalgic glows.
Maybe a parent, or old friends,
favorite uncle, aunt or cousin.

Great times we’ve had in days gone by,
and we hope to have again,
makes us wary of uncertainty,
we shy away from the unfamiliar.

But, you’ll never know what lies ahead,
unless you venture forth.
Can’t let fear of the undiscovered,
keep us from pushing onward.

Reflection is a marvelous tool,
it keeps us humbled, and aware,
of where our journey started,
and how we far we’ve made it though.

But it can also weigh us down,
particularly if we let it.
So be aware the road lies ahead,
but cherish your rememberings.

Look, Listen, Learn

Everyone and everything has merit.  Just because you don’t get it or understand it, doesn’t mean there isn’t a message or lesson to be learned.  Even when things seem bleak there is always some knowledge that can be acquired, especially if you just take a few minutes to look for it.

Some people seem to be a waste of our time, but, have you ever truly wondered what their journey has brought them?  The life lessons of someone else could save you a whole lot of trouble!  Older people have experience on their side, while younger people have a fresh perspective.  Plus, you cannot know what insights someone else has just by looking at them.   BUT, people also perceive things differently, so someone else’s experience might not match yours.  And that is a lesson, as well!

The these “teachings” might have to do with joy, happiness, peace or patience.  It could be humility or compassion.  It could be contentment or mercy…or, it could be acceptance and love.  The truth is, you will never know if you aren’t open to it.  There’s always something to be learned.

And…sometimes YOU are someone else’s lesson…life’s not all about you…there are others sharing our planet, others having similar experiences and others linked to our journey.

The bottom line is, be open to the possibilities to learn something in everything you do, also remembering, you may be the chosen one to “teach” someone else…and even through all of that, you might be surprised what you learn!

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Disclaimer:

By suggesting reading and alternative therapies, we are not attempting to diagnose or treat any illness. Our suggestions are merely that, based on personal experience and research and should, in no way, be a substitute for medical advice.